So I am sure that you have heard the term “friend-zoned”?
Yes? Great stuff.
No? Then let us look at a quick definition:
Please note, it isn’t only girls that friend-zone boys, but boys friend-zone girls too!
Well, I have recently realised something about myself and it is not really a good thing and not something to brag about, but I need to get this out of my system, because like any addict you have to admit that you have a problem, right? And let’s face it, my blog is all about random thoughts in my head and well, maybe my way of therapy but…
I have had a look over my relationships from school to varisty to adulthood and realised that in all my relationships I have ALWAYS ended up as the “friend” and in a few I have been the “rebound” chick.
Oh the SHOCK and HORROR!
So, why do you call yourself the “friend” or “rebound chick” Kat?
Well, shall we start with the Greek? I dated him for six months and in all that time, we had fun, went on dates, met the parents, held hands but we never seemed to take it further, we seemed to be too comfortable around one another. Anyways, we only ever kissed once and that spark just wasn’t there. To me, that is a friendship… please note that I am not calling it a relationship, because in a relationship, you get some kissing and bonuses.
So, on further anaylis of my relationships/dating life, I have noticed that I also seem to date men who have been extremely hurt in a previous relationships in their life. They then carry around a lot of baggage and normally don’t trust women, because of their previous experiences. I know I said once before that I know I won’t find a beau without baggage, remember that post?
But, the question I have to start asking myself is: Is the beau using me as the Agony Aunt (AA) or does he actually see potential for a relationship to develop? It normally ends up being the AA and that is not very charming… I normally don’t have sympathy in situations like that, especially when I care for a person and they tell me what the “ex” said or did. It is there that I would like to tell a potential beau to grow some balls and tell the ex to go fly off on her broom… however, the nice person inside of me doesn’t allow for me to say that.
I once had a conversation with a man who was complaining first about his ex-wife and then his ex-girlfriend. Oh and then proceeded to tell me, that he would never settle down again, unless a really great woman comes along. Great stuff dude, but with an all your issues, you won’t notice it when you have met that great woman…. even if she stood butt naked in front of you holding a banner saying that she loves you warts and all.
I found this image online and thought that it made a lot of sense:
So, this is a trend that I have spotted. How to stop it? Well, I haven’t given it that much thought… yet. I do think that I should follow the advice in the above picture. Make no mistake, it should be a VERY interesting ride ahead.
Wish me luck!