Divine intervention

So, I refer to my “friend-zone” post from last week… between you and me, I was ranting… I think I was just a little sick and tired of being used as an agony aunt by a certain “potential” beau. The man who only seems to contact me when he needs someone to listen.

This morning in church, I give you a guess what a part of the service was about?

FRIENDS.

Yes… can you believe it? Divine intervention.

I did feel very guilty about my rant… because a true friend listens and assist where they can. The only thing is that it is a two-way street and should be 100% from both sides.

So, I have given it some thought… AGAIN!

My decision is: I will be a good friend to the people who deserve it!

Have a happy Sunday further.

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Oh boy… I am always in the friend-zone!

So I am sure that you have heard the term “friend-zoned”?

Yes? Great stuff.

No? Then let us look at a quick definition:

Friendzoned definition

Please note, it isn’t only girls that friend-zone boys, but boys friend-zone girls too!

Well, I have recently realised something about myself and it is not really a good thing and not something to brag about, but I need to get this out of my system, because like any addict you have to admit that you have a problem, right? And let’s face it, my blog is all about random thoughts in my head and well, maybe my way of therapy but…

I have had a look over my relationships from school to varisty to adulthood and realised that in all my relationships I have ALWAYS ended up as the “friend” and in a few I have been the “rebound” chick.

Oh the SHOCK and HORROR!

So, why do you call yourself the “friend” or “rebound chick” Kat?

Well, shall we start with the Greek? I dated him for six months and in all that time, we had fun, went on dates, met the parents, held hands but we never seemed to take it further, we seemed to be too comfortable around one another. Anyways, we only ever kissed once and that spark just wasn’t there. To me, that is a friendship… please note that I am not calling it a relationship, because in a relationship, you get some kissing and bonuses.

So, on further anaylis of my relationships/dating life, I have noticed that I also seem to date men who have been extremely hurt in a previous relationships in their life. They then carry around a lot of baggage and normally don’t trust women, because of their previous experiences. I know I said once before that I know I won’t find a beau without baggage, remember that post?

Spirit Science

But, the question I have to start asking myself is: Is the beau using me as the Agony Aunt (AA) or does he actually see potential for a relationship to develop? It normally ends up being the AA and that is not very charming… I normally don’t have sympathy in situations like that, especially when I care for a person and they tell me what the “ex” said or did.  It is there that I would like to tell a potential beau to grow some balls and tell the ex to go fly off on her broom… however, the nice person inside of me doesn’t allow for me to say that.

I once had a conversation with a man who was complaining first about his ex-wife and then his ex-girlfriend. Oh and then proceeded to tell me, that he would never settle down again, unless a really great woman comes along. Great stuff dude, but with an all your issues, you won’t notice it when you have met that great woman…. even if she stood butt naked in front of you holding a banner saying that she loves you warts and all.

I found this image online and thought that it made a lot of sense:

rebound-quotes-1

So, this is a trend that I have spotted. How to stop it? Well, I haven’t given it that much thought… yet.  I do think that I should follow the advice in the above picture. Make no mistake, it should be a VERY interesting ride ahead.

Wish me luck!

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Things that I have noticed…

So, remember last year sometime I wrote a post about starter marriages? Well, I said in the post: “Can you live with the person for the rest of your life?”

This weekend, at church, one of the uncles turned 82. While congratulating him on the milestone, cause lets face it, celebrating a birthday over 80 is an achievement, the minister mentioned that he and his wife would be celebrating the 60th wedding anniversary next year.

I’ll let that sink in… 60 years.

Can you imagine? That’s a whole lifetime and it is something very special and I hope their children have a massive party for them for achieving a milestone like that, because, let’s face it, that does not happen everyday.

My friend who sits next to me in the choir, then said that her mom and dad were celebrating 40 next year too. It made me a little sad, because my Mom will never be able to celebrate that with my Dad… Although she does remember her anniversary every year.

Anyways, after hearing about two milestones like that, I log into Facebook and I read a post from one of my older friends (around my eldest brother’s age) who thanked everyone for their support during the difficult time. So, I stalked her profile… it turns out she and her hubby are divorcing. That is when I noticed it…

I noticed just how many of my ‘older friends’ (people who got married when I was about 6 or 10-years-old, people around my brother’s ages, people who saw me grow up) are getting divorced. These are the people who I thought were genuinely happy and would be married forever cause they seemed perfect for one another. These friends all have kids around the ages of 17 to 23 and It would seem that empty nest syndrome has a lot to do with it… because once the kids are out of the house, it is only the two of them…

Personally, I don’t know what the reasons are, and I think it is VERY personal to ask a person why they are divorced, but, I think it must be the toughest thing to be with someone for that long and then having to start all over again.

Now, I know I cannot really give say much on the topic, because I have never been married, and let’s face it, I haven’t even been in a relationship that brought me close to the altar… but it makes me wonder what is up with the world today? Is it because people don’t fight for what they want? Is it because it is just too easy to give up and throw in the towel? Is it because life happens and you, as a person change? Is it because the person you thought you married just is not there for you? Is it because you just fall out of love with the person? Is it because your partner has hurt you terribly, whether verbal, physical or mentally? Is it because there is just too much happening around us? Is it because partners don’t talk to one another anymore?

Like I said, I am no expert, but it does make me wonder. How can some people be together forever and others don’t make it past the two, five, ten or 20 year mark? Although in all this, every person and their situation is unique and I guess that’s what the world and life is about…

I leave you with this quote that sums it up perfectly:

Forrest-Gump1

*Please note that this blog is not about judging people, it is just something that I have noticed and decided to comment on.

Okay… so it is official…

I am a CONTROL FREAK!

images

 

I went into my old office today and asked the temp lady who is doing my old job, how it was going, because today is deadline day. She looked at me like a deer caught in headlights and anyone who knows me, knows I hate when that happens.

That’s when I decided to take charge, especially when I saw that the way she was doing the work was was NOT the way I showed/trained her how to do it…

So you know what I did?

I got the visitors chair, pulled it up next to her and showed her what to do.

Anyways, I really need to work on this. I need to learn to TRUST people. I think this is going to be a massive learning curve for me and a lot of patience will be needed from me and my fellow co-workers.

Btw, if you have ANY advice for me, please share. All comments will be appreciated.

Have a happy Monday further.

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Random thoughts…

Tonight we have a special person coming to dinner and I am making it because I was the one to invite him. The Model is coming over for Mac and Cheese. He has to bring my DVD’s back that he borrowed last week. He wanted to come over last night, but I had to deliver Noodle’s first birthday invites. Can you believe that she is almost a year old already? She is having her first birthday party at Spur, although I doubt that she will know the party is for her. Knowing her, she will sleep through the festivities.

I have a bit of a problem. I haven’t bought the Model a gift for his upcoming birthday yet… what do you get a 23-year-old? This might be a tough one.

Anyways, besides me chatting about my family…. Today is the 12th Anniversary of the World Trade Center bombings. My thoughts go out to everyone that was involved and to those who lost loved ones. Our prayers are with you in your remembrance. I am sure you remember where you were when you heard about it. You can read my experience here: 10th Anniversary  & 11th Anniversary.

On that note, I thought I’d share the following verse with you. I found it on Twitter, when someone tweeted a picture of the headstone of Burry Stander‘s grave. He was the South African cyclist who was killed in a hit-and-run accident at the beginning of the year and I thought it would be appropriate for today.

Those we love don’t go away

They walk beside us everyday.

Unseen, unheard but always near. 

Sill loved, still missed and very dear. 

United States, New York, Manhattan, 9/11 Memorial designed by Israeli architect Michael Arad involving a forest of trees around two bodies of water with two large Square holes in their center at the exact spot where the formers towers stood

Random happenings in my life

It is Friday, finally!

This week has been a weird week; I have been in Friday mode since Tuesday. *insert funny look here*

I feel tired. I feel sore all over. I am going for blood tests tomorrow morning. The gastroenterologist wants to test my liver. The first test is an alcohol test. I don’t think he trusts me when I say I don’t drink. Can you believe it?  Anyways, if he only knew I am not big on alcohol at all. But something must be wrong with me, because I’ve had pain attacks three times this week. They seem to be increasing. Maybe it is stress as well?

Work has been hectic. We are on deadlines again and once again, which means, no rest for the wicked.  I have taken to making lists. To do lists, because I am afraid I might miss important things.

It was the CEO’s birthday during the week and as a gift to us, he said we could leave an hour earlier today. I thought that was very nice of him. However, because we are on deadline, it might not even happen.

I was weighed in at gym this week and guess what… I have lost 1,2 kilograms and I have lost a good amount of centimetres as well. This is the first time since I joined that I could do a proper weigh in, because I was so ill after I started. Anyways, I am so chuffed with myself and I am going to try to go from three times a week, to four. I know it is only a small amount, however, to me, it is a start. 🙂

Oh and today is 13 July 2012…. A Friday. Which means the dreaded Friday the 13th. LOL! I do hope yours is a good one though.

I am off to a meeting. Have a good weekend everyone.