So much has happened (part 3)

The story continues:
Part 1
Part 2

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I have decided to continue the story. This is just a summary of it all. Maybe one day I will go into the detail of how I felt and coped with all the things that happened in and around me.

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I said the only thing that I could think of in that situation and that was: “Rugby Man… stay away from the light. We cannot lose you, not like this.”

The first week was a hectic week. It was the same time that the magazine I work for had to go to print, luckily the printers and all my colleagues were understanding and helped me out tremendously. Rugby Man was on the ventilator and was in an induced coma and on hectic pain meds. I am sure he was flying. He had very serious injuries and well, the Doctors could only move him on the public holiday, 24 September to do a MRI. The idea was 20 minutes to do the body and then if he was stable enough another 20 minutes for the head.

That Friday, 25 September, we were called in and the prognosis was not good. Rugby Man had a terrible spinal cord injury and according to the Neurologist, he had severe brain damage. The Neurologist explained it as follows: Rugby Man was like a baby who drowned. If you do not get enough oxygen to the brain, then the brain starts shutting down to keep the other parts going. That could of happened when they were moving him from hospital to hospital. However, we would never know the extent of the injury till he woke up. The doctor said that it would take time. Recovery could take anything from six months to five years. However, patience is what we needed. His left side was paralysed, however, the good news was that Rugby Man was moving his right arm and hand which meant that with time, the body could heal itself.

By the end of week two, they started feeding him through a tube to see if his body would accept the “food” and they stared “waking him up”, but the only problem was that he was not reacting. He was still on the ventilator but also in his own comatose state. By week three they started taking him off the meds. However, Rugby Man was not showing any signs of waking up or any sign of pain. The trauma nurses were awesome with him though and were awesome with us too.

The routine of our lives changed from day one and every visiting time over the weekend and every night we were there. My Mom also made me drop her off at the hospital, while I went to work, so that she could see him. Our life became all about Rugby Man. The boys who are 25 and 23 handed everything over to my Mom. My Mom allowed me to take charge because I knew in this time I had to be there for her. A parent should not go through the fear of losing her child, because it was her Son laying there. A man borne out of her, who God entrusted to her.  She did not need to go through additional stress.

Well, I tried to curb the additional stress, but the current gf was not helping. Remember I said it was the woman who he met last year and then they broke up and she took to Facebook to tell everyone why they broke up. They recently got back together and well, I am not her biggest fan? Anyways, she decided that she would tell the nurses she was his FIANCE so that she could see him, because they were only allowing the closest family members in. She would go see him during the day and then share confidential medical information on Whatsapp and Facebook. Obviously an attention whore. She did things without us knowing, like stop his bank cards. She was marching to her own drum and to make a long story short, I put a stop to it. I wrote a letter to the hospital, which they gave to everyone working with my brother, that NO MEDICAL INFORMATION was to be given to ANYONE except the following people: My Mom, Biker Man, Me and my two nephews (Rugby Man’s sons). Also that no medical procedure could be done without the authorisation of My Mom or Biker Man.

The next day, after I handed the letter in, my Mom was at the hospital with my brother’s ex-wife, when the gf rocked up. She walked into the ICU and slammed the ICU door in my Mom’s face. Another gentleman that was behind my Mom asked what was up and my Mom said she did not know. She pressed the buzzer for the nurses to let her in. Now, every time we visited, the family would send my Mom in first. When she got to my brother, the gf was leaning over him (something the nurses asked us not to do, because it is TRAUMA ICU) and when my Mom asked her to give her a few minutes she started shouting at my Mom next to my brother’s bed. She stormed out. Then in the waiting room she told my brother’s ex-wife that my Mom was a bitch. After that day, she never returned to the hospital. She goes around telling everyone we banned her from the hospital, but truth be told, I think she realised that she would never be able to cope with a vegetable and was looking for someone to blame so that she didn’t look like the bad person.

With all that happening, the grief process continued. Any grief/trauma process consists out of DENILE, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION and ACCEPTANCE. I think my Mom and I were quick to understand it and realise that life had changed and that whatever the outcome, we were there for Rugby Man. However, some people do not do well when it comes to tragedy, and Biker Man is one of them. He moved to Johannesburg earlier this year and was not nearby when it had happened. He and Rugby Man are close, VERY close, but he was in denile all the time. He did not accept what my Mom was saying about Rugby Man’s condition and because of that, he started lashing out at My Mom and I. At one stage he kicked me out of his family and told me that when my Mom dies, I will be all alone.

16 October came and Ruby Man turned 48 years old. We celebrated with him in Hospital with blue balloons and messages from Facebook, Whatsapp, SMSes, etc. So many people wished him well. A week or two after he was moved to high care, because they couldn’t keep him in Trauma ICU forever and we needed to find a place for him so that he could start with rehabilitation, even if he was just laying there. It was terrible to see, because he was always the active one. Playing rugby at the age of 48. Going to gym twice a day. Running the pub and working. He could never sit still. A few places came to evaluate him, but they said that they would not be able to work with him, because he was showing no signs of reaction. He was not responding to the easiest of commands, like open your eye or stick out your tongue. That was difficult for us. That is when they decided to move him to the rehab in 1 Military Hospital, however, he ended up in the surgical ward, because they had to do all their tests on him as well. That happened in the first week of November.

Then on Thursday, 12 November we were called to the hospital. It was not going well with Rugby Man. As Murphy’s law would have it, my car gave trouble the Wednesday and I took it in the Thursday when I got the phone call. By then I was the liaison between the hospital and the family. I called everyone and told them to go up immediately. I arranged for my nephew to pick up my Mom, while I had to wait for the car. I got there at 14:00, after receiving the call at about 11:45. The Doctor was amazing and explained to the family what was happening.

When I got there she called me aside and said that Rugby Man was spiking a fever and his body was getting enough oxygen. His saturation levels were extremely low (the levels of Oxygen in the blood stream). He had an infection that he was fighting off, but they called us in, because it did not look good. It was a matter of time.  I know this sounds weird, but by that time I knew what they were talking about because my brother’s vitals became a part of my life. His pulse, his temperature, his saturation levels. How much oxygen he was receiving. I even helped and kept new staff up to date with progress etc. My Mom and I stayed by his side… till 21:00 that night. The Doctor came in and asked if she could arrange a bed for us to stay over. By then my Mom was tired and said no, she would go home instead. We said our goodbyes to him and left.

As we walked out, I said to my Mom, that I did not think that we would see him alive again. She agreed and said that if that is what God wanted to do, then it is up to Him. My Mom has and still is strong in her faith. She said from the start that Rugby Man was in God’s hands and whatever God wanted to do, she would accept it. She added that Rugby Man was in his limbo and had been between this world and the next and whatever happened she will accept.

At 07:15 on Friday the 13th of November (yes, I know trust him and his wicked sense of humor to choose Friday the 13th) Rugby Man’s time on earth came to an end. My big brother was no longer with us. He endured for 55 days and even though there were “up” days and there were “down” days and there “happy” days and there were “sad” days, he went to a better place with no more pain and suffering. No words can explain the heartache I feel, or the heartache my Mom feels. But together we mourn for a son, brother, father, friend and all round genuine good guy.

 

Rugby Man

On the 16th day of October 1967 the life story of Timothy started. His emotions of love and hate, sorrow and joy, were written up in his book with God. On the 13th day of November 2015 the last entry was written in his book and God closed it. Through our Heavenly Father’s decision, his soul was claimed back by God, his Maker, and his body given back to the earth, as it should be. He is bereaved by his family and friends.

 

So much has happened (part 2)

So by then details were sketchy… no one knew what was happening and let me tell you the fear of not knowing is what kills you. It makes it difficult to breathe and a lot of emotions come to the fore front.

We were all in the waiting room. My Mom, my nephews (who were both crying), the ex wife, the current gf (It is the one who he met last year and then they broke up and she took to Facebook to tell everyone why they broke up. They recently got back together and well, I am not her biggest fan.) and I. Biker man and his family whereon their way. The nurse came out and said that his injuries were bad. He didn’t have blood pressure and he is very swollen up. They were treating him to keep him alive. She then wanted to know who we were. We told her and she said to my Mom, that she could go in first. Well duh, because she is his mother, but the gf didn’t like that one bit because she is his ‘life partner’. No offence, but you have to be living with a person for at lease six months to be a life partner.

My Mom went in and when she came out, we knew it was bad. After that the Doctor came and spoke to us. Rugby Man had no broken bones in his body, except for a finger and a fracture in his cheek and jaw. However, Rugby Man had a serious brain injury and they were going to drill a hole in his head to relieve the pressure of the brain. Also, he was put in an induced coma and was on a lot of meds due to the fact that he was in a lot of pain.

My brother went in to see him and then when I had to go in, the gf ran in before me. It was almost 11:00 and visiting hours and well, I just thought let her go. I wasn’t going to start an argument. However, when she got out, she made such a scene. She threw herself on the floor and started sobbing. It was then that my Mom (who had not yet shed a tear) went to her and told her to behave. Making a scene was not helping the family and other traumatised families waiting to see their loved ones and it certainly was not helping my brother who was fighting for his life. Well, let’s just say my Mom says it like it is, but the gf stopped crying.

Anyways, so, in the meantime, Biker Man found out where the bike was and kinda how it happened. It seemed like a hit and run…

My first thoughts were, what sick bastard, hits a person and rides/drives away? Seriously?

It was finally my turn to go see Rugby Man. I was only allowed two minutes, but you know what? I took them. When I walked in, he had one of those orange braces around his head like you see on Greys Anatomy. He had on a neck brace. He had drips in everywhere and a heart machine beeping. He was on the ventilator and had pipes coming out of his mouth. His face was swollen to double the size. He didn’t look like my Rugby Man. His head was shaved on the one side and he had a screw coming out of his head. It was really traumatic, not just for me, but everyone around me.

I said the only thing that I could think of in that situation and that was: “Rugby Man… stay away from the light. We cannot lose you, not like this.”

Looking back now, I realise how selfish I was.

Dude, there’s a lizard in my car

lizard

After your giggling and wtf moment, I will tell you how it got there…

On Friday (Good Friday) we were going to go visit Biker Man and Wifey at their new house after church. At 07:00 Biker Man called and said that we should bring our garden chairs with for the braai, because he didn’t have enough for everyone (Rugby Man and his ‘ex’ and The Model were going too). I told him I’d bring them and well, when I pulled the car out of the garage, I put the chairs in the boot of my car, not checking them.

After church, I wanted to put my handbag in the boot, when I opened it and the lizard was on top of the chairs. Now, as you know, I don’t mind lizards, so I told my mom to hang ten while I pick the chair up and get the lizard out. Unfortunately, that didn’t work. The lizard slid away so quickly and just disappeared.

We got to my brother’s new house and what a nice place btw and we took the chairs out. No sign of the lizard. I decided that I would sort it out later the afternoon. However, we had such a nice time that we only left at about 18:00 and got home at 19:00. By that time it was too late to look for it.

This morning I pulled the car out and low and behold, it was back… but it was too fast to be caught. It ran in under the back seat (by then I had all the doors of the car open) and no matter how I chased it with the lunchbox, it was apparent that I wouldn’t be successful in catching it to set it free. I even put Lizzie (my beloved lizard catcher) in the car but she thought we were going to take a ride and didn’t pick up on the scent.

My Mom suggested we doom the car. So, out came Lizzie and I closed all the doors and sprayed some Doom… and nothing.

So, then I decided to start vacuuming the car. After getting half way, the lizard appeared. The doors were still open and after chasing him from the boot to the backseat, it moved towards the side of the seat and I swear it literally jumped out the car and manoeuvred over to the neighbours garage. Luckily in all this the lizard did not lose its tail.

It seems that today was my day with lizards, because while mowing the lawn and cutting some plants, another two ran for their lives.

Anyways, that was my excitement for the day.
Happy long weekend further.
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The news…

Okay, so, a lot has happened in a space of two to three weeks.

Biker Man and Wifey are moving. Yes, they are taking the two lights of my life (Cutie Pie and Noodle) and moving to a new suburb… 45 minutes away.

That is a whole 65 km away.

moving-day

I was and am still  shattered by the announcement.

I knew things were going to change when he started his new job. But then Wifey decided the nail business wasn’t for her  and found a job in Alberton.

This weekend they are getting the keys to the house that they are renting. They have arranged that Cutie Pie and Noodle stay with us from early Saturday morning till Sunday afternoon. On Monday the moving truck will come and move them and then they will be gone.

For practical reasons, I know why they are doing this namely, time constraints and petrol. But I am selfish and I don’t like change. I like having them close by. I know it isn’t a different continent and we don’t see the girlies during the week, but it is maybe just something that I have to get used to.

My Mom has accepted it. As she says it is their life and they have to decide what they need and want. But between you and me, I think my Mom is just trying to be strong. She has told them that they must visit every weekend, because she cannot expect me to take her to visit them as I have a life of my own to live.

So there you have it…  the big news that I said I would share.

Happy Thursday evening (almost Friday)!

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Babysitting for birthdays

So, today is Wifey’s 38th birthday. Happy birthday to Wifey. 🙂 Last night when my Mom called to confirm something with her, she asked if we could babysit the girlies tonight and she was wondering if they could sleep over because she and my brother would like to go out and celebrate. Well, as usual, we jumped at the chance, cause it is fun having the girls over.

I wonder if they will be bringing pizzas again, like they did when we had to watch the girls for my brother’s birthday. Hmmm… pizzas. My serious downfall in life.

Anyways, when the girlies come around, it is almost like a slumber party. We have dinner, we throw them in the bath with bubbles and wait till they are all wrinkled up. After that we get them in their jammies. By then, Cutie Pie has selected a movie, her new favourite is “Horton hears a Who!” which is an old movie, but she recently discovered it in the collection, and then we open the sleeper couches and lay down to watch the movie… by around 22:00 both girlies are sleeping and well, usually I am too.

Some nights are better than others. Sometimes Noodle wakes up a few times, but like the last times, she slept through the night. Cutie Pie has a bad habit of talking in her sleep, which freaks me out a little, especially when she giggles. She also grinds her teeth sometimes, which sounds just as odd… I guess you can tell from the above sentence that normally that means no good nights rest for me. LOL!

Early on Saturday morning, you can hear Noodle stirring and by the time you get to her, she is smiling at you. By 7 am then the whole house is awake and wanting food… after that, everyone gets dressed and then playtime starts… Cutie Pie likes building puzzles and Noodle, well, Noodle plays with anything really… normally by 10 am or sometimes later, their parents come and pick them up.

When they leave, the house is almost too quiet again. Btw, Noodle will be two on the 19th of September. Can you believe it? I was saying to my mom that I have learnt so much this time round with feeding and nappies and how she developed. It is so amazing. Anyways, I told Wifey that I will be taking the girlies to the zoo cause I have decided no more presents for them. We will go on outings for birthdays. My Mom agrees. So, that’s the plan.

Anyways, that’s enough ramblings from me for today… Have a happy weekend everyone. 🙂

happy-weekend1

What are aunts for??

This morning I had to go to Biker Man’s house, because the cubbyhole handle in my car broke. Apparently, my Mom is the Hulk cause when she tried to open the cubbyhole, the lever just broke off… It was so funny.

Anyways, when we got there the girlies were still in their pyjamas and Wifey was just too glad to see us, cause that meant that we would get the girls dressed and ready before here dad and step mom arrived to visit. It is amazing that with my Mom there, Noodle sits still to have her hair done and get dressed. Wifey says that when she does it Noodle goes running around like it is a big joke.  Btw,  Deb who blogs here on WordPress has written an article for the Woolworths website… go check it out… It is really informative and yes, PJs rule in our house too!. 😉

Wifey had another “episode” this week. Apparently she says she didn’t know she had it. See, she is working from home now and well, she says she sat down on the bench in the lounge and woke up later the afternoon, she says she thought she fell asleep and didn’t think anything about it. Then on Thursday after dropping the girls off at school, she felt weird, like that day at the mall and stopped at her GP who confirmed that she was suffering the after effects of the episode. She mentioned that it might be gynaecological because it happens while she is having her period, TMI? So, now that is another avenue they are looking into.

So, we caught up on life while having coffee and rusks… and guess what… I decided to teach Noodle how to dunk the rusk in the coffee and then eat it… hahahaha. We had so much fun doing that, even though I had coffee all over my jeans from where Noodle messed. Wifey reminded me that I did the same with Cutie Pie too… and after that no cup of coffee was safe.

My reply to the situation was “well that’s what aunts are supposed to do”. We teach kids stuff. Useful stuff.  Like the pic says:

Crazy aunt

I don’t think that Wifey realises that she can do the same with my kids one day when I have them. Btw, speaking about having kids of my own… I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I think I have some decisions to make for the future.

Oh and after this whole post, the good news is that Biker Man did get into the cubbyhole and I got my car’s manual and CD’s out. 🙂 What would I do without my big brother? Hahaha

Anyways, have a good weekend. 🙂

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Random update…

I did it…

So remember I mentioned before that I was ill? Well, I finally went to the doctor, after weeks of being sick. By Tuesday, I couldn’t anymore, I was coughing really bad, so I called and got an appointment for Wednesday. The Doctor said I had acute sinusitis which needed meds as soon as possible before it moved down to my chest. So, after a shot and a whole batch of antibiotics I was out of there.

After the appointment, I had to go to the office to sort some things out, even though the Doctor booked me off till Monday. I got all that sorted and went home. On Thursday, I did not get out of bed and I must admit I do not feel guilty about that. I think a person’s body just lets you know that you will go till here and no further. You need the rest, especially when you are ill.

On Friday, it was much the same; however, I did some layout for the magazine. I sent in six articles to the acting editor that I done the layout on, so there are only a few more to do before my deadline. Yeah, deadlines are around the corner again.

We just got some shocking news from Biker Man this morning. He has decided to give up biking, well, for now, and focus more on his family. I think this has happened because of the big scare Wifey had. Anyways, he sold his BMW RR 1000 to Rugby Man, and well, gave up his presidency of his chapter and that’s the end of it. I most probably won’t change his name on the blog; he will always be a Biker Man. I haven’t spoken to Rugby Man yet, but I am sure he looks great on the BM. 😉

So, remember last year I bought my beloved Nikon Camera? Well, I realised earlier this week that I never went for that free training that I got with the camera bundle I bought. I decided to change it that… Today I registered for that training, almost a year after I got the camera. 🙂 I will be going for training on 26 July at 08:30. It is early for a Saturday morning, but I want to get the training done before the big air show at Waterkloof Air Force Base in September.

Anyways, that’s just a random update from me…

Have a good weekend.

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