Why two month’s salary?

With the words ‘marriage’ and ‘wedding’ being thrown around lately, I was quite amused when one of my friends posted the following image on Facebook:

Facebook Image

Actually, this is one of the many questions that I have wondering about, namely, why spend so much on an engagement ring if you want to settle down? Why must it be two to three month’s salary? Why do two people – who want to spend their lives with one another – have to go all out to do it and (possibly) get themselves into debt?

Okay, so before I go further, maybe I am being a tad negative, but honestly, why does society have to dictate what is ‘right’?

Who said that the size of the rock he buys me, shows me how much he loves me? Should you not know that when he actually gets down on one knee and asks you to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with him? Is that not proof enough that he is in it for the long haul?

I have come to the conclusion that my views are very different from a lot of other people out there. I always seem to be overruled when this comes up in conversation, especially at the office. I mean, let’s just use this whole rock thing as an example, I feel that if a man wants to marry me he has to do two things –

  1. ask my mother for permission (a little old fashioned, yes, but it is the right way to do it); and
  2. all he needs to do is give me a ring like this:

Claddagh-Ring

It is called a Claddagh ring and is a traditional Irish ring which represents –

  • Love (heart);
  • Friendship (hands); and
  • Loyalty (crown).

The three (of many) things that marriage should be about, don’t you think?

Anyways, according to this site, the way in which a Claddagh ring is worn is to convey the wearer’s relationship status:

  • On the right hand with the point of the heart toward the fingertips, the wearer is single and may be looking for love.
  • On the right hand with the point of the heart toward the wrist, the wearer is in a relationship.
  • On the left hand with the point of the heart toward the fingertips, the wearer is engaged.
  • On the left hand with the point of the heart toward the wrist, the wearer is married.

So, that is simple and easy enough… no need for diamonds, cause they are not my best friend. If someone had to make me choose a gemstone, I would choose and emerald. Although like I said (a few times before: See point 4) if you want to marry me… give me plain and simple.

Okay, so I have just rambled on today… still wanted to share some other news, but that will have to wait for another post.

Have a happy and wet (it is raining here) Thursday everyone!

Print

Advertisements

Things that I have noticed…

So, remember last year sometime I wrote a post about starter marriages? Well, I said in the post: “Can you live with the person for the rest of your life?”

This weekend, at church, one of the uncles turned 82. While congratulating him on the milestone, cause lets face it, celebrating a birthday over 80 is an achievement, the minister mentioned that he and his wife would be celebrating the 60th wedding anniversary next year.

I’ll let that sink in… 60 years.

Can you imagine? That’s a whole lifetime and it is something very special and I hope their children have a massive party for them for achieving a milestone like that, because, let’s face it, that does not happen everyday.

My friend who sits next to me in the choir, then said that her mom and dad were celebrating 40 next year too. It made me a little sad, because my Mom will never be able to celebrate that with my Dad… Although she does remember her anniversary every year.

Anyways, after hearing about two milestones like that, I log into Facebook and I read a post from one of my older friends (around my eldest brother’s age) who thanked everyone for their support during the difficult time. So, I stalked her profile… it turns out she and her hubby are divorcing. That is when I noticed it…

I noticed just how many of my ‘older friends’ (people who got married when I was about 6 or 10-years-old, people around my brother’s ages, people who saw me grow up) are getting divorced. These are the people who I thought were genuinely happy and would be married forever cause they seemed perfect for one another. These friends all have kids around the ages of 17 to 23 and It would seem that empty nest syndrome has a lot to do with it… because once the kids are out of the house, it is only the two of them…

Personally, I don’t know what the reasons are, and I think it is VERY personal to ask a person why they are divorced, but, I think it must be the toughest thing to be with someone for that long and then having to start all over again.

Now, I know I cannot really give say much on the topic, because I have never been married, and let’s face it, I haven’t even been in a relationship that brought me close to the altar… but it makes me wonder what is up with the world today? Is it because people don’t fight for what they want? Is it because it is just too easy to give up and throw in the towel? Is it because life happens and you, as a person change? Is it because the person you thought you married just is not there for you? Is it because you just fall out of love with the person? Is it because your partner has hurt you terribly, whether verbal, physical or mentally? Is it because there is just too much happening around us? Is it because partners don’t talk to one another anymore?

Like I said, I am no expert, but it does make me wonder. How can some people be together forever and others don’t make it past the two, five, ten or 20 year mark? Although in all this, every person and their situation is unique and I guess that’s what the world and life is about…

I leave you with this quote that sums it up perfectly:

Forrest-Gump1

*Please note that this blog is not about judging people, it is just something that I have noticed and decided to comment on.

Love and marriage

Okay… so I mentioned here and here that I had a few things that I still wanted to share, however, because of time constraints and other issues at hand I never got around to it. Well, I thought I’d focus on one topic today.

On Saturday night, after the shooters, I got chatting to two of my nephews’ friends. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. They both have the same names, however, but the one is older than the other and when it comes to the shape of their bodies, the one is thinner than the other. While chatting to them we somehow got onto the issue of relationships….

Tweedle Dee (the thin one) said that he was planning to propose to his gf in December.

My first reaction was: “How old are you?”

“21,” he said proudly.

I think this is where my jaw hit the ground.

“Aren’t you a bit… uhm… young?”

“No, my brother is 23, he got engaged last week,” Tweedle Dee said.

“You aren’t getting married straight away, are you?”

“No, I am planning a long engagement. I’ll get married when I am 25 and have my first kid by 28,” he said. He obviously gave it a lot of thought.

“Oh, well sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you planned. Look at me, I am 30 and still single, by choice I might add, but it is certainly not the way I expected life to turn out when I was 21,” I said.

***

So, this was the conversation that reminded me of an article I read years ago in I think it was the Cosmo or was it Elle? Anyways, the article was about “Starter Marriages”. It was an article about how a couple got married in their 20’s and were divorced by the time they were 30. They had no kids and weren’t in love with one another. You could say they out grew one another. According to the Wikipedia page about starter marriages, the first line sums it up well:

“A starter marriage is a first marriage that lasts five years or less
and ends without the couple having any children together.”

Now, I have never been married, however, this “trend” is still around. Thanks to this article, and this one there is a new thing called the non-starter marriage.

I’d like to take a quote from the article:

“We’ve all heard about the Starter Marriage: The marital training wheels that prime you for the real thing. But this is something singular. Call it the Non-Starter Marriage, the union that dissolves in less than a year, sometimes before the thank-you notes can even be sent out. It’s the kind of bust-up we associate—almost anticipate—with celebrity unions. Katy Perry and Russell Brand: just over 365 days. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries: 72 days. Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas: 27 days. Britney Spears and her high school sweetheart: 55 hours. Even the seemingly down-to-earth Fred Armisen and Elisabeth Moss split in under a year (though legal red tape pushed the union slightly past the 12-month mark).”

Do some people just rush into marriage because they feel it is the “right” thing to do? Do people still give a thought to how much work it takes to be in a marriage these days? Are you making the right choice for you? Can you live with the person for the rest of your life?

These are questions that I would certainly want to answer before I take that long walk down the aisle and I think I would expect my future husband to answer as well. I just hope that Tweedle Dee does not influence the Blonde one, with this proposal business, because I feel that 21 is a bit young to make such drastic life decisions, especially in today’s day. There is so much out there to experience and see that one wouldn’t want to be tied down.*

marriage

*Please note the views in this blog are mine. If you feel differently, feel free to comment below.