So much has happened (part 3)

The story continues:
Part 1
Part 2

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I have decided to continue the story. This is just a summary of it all. Maybe one day I will go into the detail of how I felt and coped with all the things that happened in and around me.

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I said the only thing that I could think of in that situation and that was: “Rugby Man… stay away from the light. We cannot lose you, not like this.”

The first week was a hectic week. It was the same time that the magazine I work for had to go to print, luckily the printers and all my colleagues were understanding and helped me out tremendously. Rugby Man was on the ventilator and was in an induced coma and on hectic pain meds. I am sure he was flying. He had very serious injuries and well, the Doctors could only move him on the public holiday, 24 September to do a MRI. The idea was 20 minutes to do the body and then if he was stable enough another 20 minutes for the head.

That Friday, 25 September, we were called in and the prognosis was not good. Rugby Man had a terrible spinal cord injury and according to the Neurologist, he had severe brain damage. The Neurologist explained it as follows: Rugby Man was like a baby who drowned. If you do not get enough oxygen to the brain, then the brain starts shutting down to keep the other parts going. That could of happened when they were moving him from hospital to hospital. However, we would never know the extent of the injury till he woke up. The doctor said that it would take time. Recovery could take anything from six months to five years. However, patience is what we needed. His left side was paralysed, however, the good news was that Rugby Man was moving his right arm and hand which meant that with time, the body could heal itself.

By the end of week two, they started feeding him through a tube to see if his body would accept the “food” and they stared “waking him up”, but the only problem was that he was not reacting. He was still on the ventilator but also in his own comatose state. By week three they started taking him off the meds. However, Rugby Man was not showing any signs of waking up or any sign of pain. The trauma nurses were awesome with him though and were awesome with us too.

The routine of our lives changed from day one and every visiting time over the weekend and every night we were there. My Mom also made me drop her off at the hospital, while I went to work, so that she could see him. Our life became all about Rugby Man. The boys who are 25 and 23 handed everything over to my Mom. My Mom allowed me to take charge because I knew in this time I had to be there for her. A parent should not go through the fear of losing her child, because it was her Son laying there. A man borne out of her, who God entrusted to her.  She did not need to go through additional stress.

Well, I tried to curb the additional stress, but the current gf was not helping. Remember I said it was the woman who he met last year and then they broke up and she took to Facebook to tell everyone why they broke up. They recently got back together and well, I am not her biggest fan? Anyways, she decided that she would tell the nurses she was his FIANCE so that she could see him, because they were only allowing the closest family members in. She would go see him during the day and then share confidential medical information on Whatsapp and Facebook. Obviously an attention whore. She did things without us knowing, like stop his bank cards. She was marching to her own drum and to make a long story short, I put a stop to it. I wrote a letter to the hospital, which they gave to everyone working with my brother, that NO MEDICAL INFORMATION was to be given to ANYONE except the following people: My Mom, Biker Man, Me and my two nephews (Rugby Man’s sons). Also that no medical procedure could be done without the authorisation of My Mom or Biker Man.

The next day, after I handed the letter in, my Mom was at the hospital with my brother’s ex-wife, when the gf rocked up. She walked into the ICU and slammed the ICU door in my Mom’s face. Another gentleman that was behind my Mom asked what was up and my Mom said she did not know. She pressed the buzzer for the nurses to let her in. Now, every time we visited, the family would send my Mom in first. When she got to my brother, the gf was leaning over him (something the nurses asked us not to do, because it is TRAUMA ICU) and when my Mom asked her to give her a few minutes she started shouting at my Mom next to my brother’s bed. She stormed out. Then in the waiting room she told my brother’s ex-wife that my Mom was a bitch. After that day, she never returned to the hospital. She goes around telling everyone we banned her from the hospital, but truth be told, I think she realised that she would never be able to cope with a vegetable and was looking for someone to blame so that she didn’t look like the bad person.

With all that happening, the grief process continued. Any grief/trauma process consists out of DENILE, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION and ACCEPTANCE. I think my Mom and I were quick to understand it and realise that life had changed and that whatever the outcome, we were there for Rugby Man. However, some people do not do well when it comes to tragedy, and Biker Man is one of them. He moved to Johannesburg earlier this year and was not nearby when it had happened. He and Rugby Man are close, VERY close, but he was in denile all the time. He did not accept what my Mom was saying about Rugby Man’s condition and because of that, he started lashing out at My Mom and I. At one stage he kicked me out of his family and told me that when my Mom dies, I will be all alone.

16 October came and Ruby Man turned 48 years old. We celebrated with him in Hospital with blue balloons and messages from Facebook, Whatsapp, SMSes, etc. So many people wished him well. A week or two after he was moved to high care, because they couldn’t keep him in Trauma ICU forever and we needed to find a place for him so that he could start with rehabilitation, even if he was just laying there. It was terrible to see, because he was always the active one. Playing rugby at the age of 48. Going to gym twice a day. Running the pub and working. He could never sit still. A few places came to evaluate him, but they said that they would not be able to work with him, because he was showing no signs of reaction. He was not responding to the easiest of commands, like open your eye or stick out your tongue. That was difficult for us. That is when they decided to move him to the rehab in 1 Military Hospital, however, he ended up in the surgical ward, because they had to do all their tests on him as well. That happened in the first week of November.

Then on Thursday, 12 November we were called to the hospital. It was not going well with Rugby Man. As Murphy’s law would have it, my car gave trouble the Wednesday and I took it in the Thursday when I got the phone call. By then I was the liaison between the hospital and the family. I called everyone and told them to go up immediately. I arranged for my nephew to pick up my Mom, while I had to wait for the car. I got there at 14:00, after receiving the call at about 11:45. The Doctor was amazing and explained to the family what was happening.

When I got there she called me aside and said that Rugby Man was spiking a fever and his body was getting enough oxygen. His saturation levels were extremely low (the levels of Oxygen in the blood stream). He had an infection that he was fighting off, but they called us in, because it did not look good. It was a matter of time.  I know this sounds weird, but by that time I knew what they were talking about because my brother’s vitals became a part of my life. His pulse, his temperature, his saturation levels. How much oxygen he was receiving. I even helped and kept new staff up to date with progress etc. My Mom and I stayed by his side… till 21:00 that night. The Doctor came in and asked if she could arrange a bed for us to stay over. By then my Mom was tired and said no, she would go home instead. We said our goodbyes to him and left.

As we walked out, I said to my Mom, that I did not think that we would see him alive again. She agreed and said that if that is what God wanted to do, then it is up to Him. My Mom has and still is strong in her faith. She said from the start that Rugby Man was in God’s hands and whatever God wanted to do, she would accept it. She added that Rugby Man was in his limbo and had been between this world and the next and whatever happened she will accept.

At 07:15 on Friday the 13th of November (yes, I know trust him and his wicked sense of humor to choose Friday the 13th) Rugby Man’s time on earth came to an end. My big brother was no longer with us. He endured for 55 days and even though there were “up” days and there were “down” days and there “happy” days and there were “sad” days, he went to a better place with no more pain and suffering. No words can explain the heartache I feel, or the heartache my Mom feels. But together we mourn for a son, brother, father, friend and all round genuine good guy.

 

Rugby Man

On the 16th day of October 1967 the life story of Timothy started. His emotions of love and hate, sorrow and joy, were written up in his book with God. On the 13th day of November 2015 the last entry was written in his book and God closed it. Through our Heavenly Father’s decision, his soul was claimed back by God, his Maker, and his body given back to the earth, as it should be. He is bereaved by his family and friends.

 

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Way too long…

I know, I know. I haven’t been here in a while.

I seemed to have lost interest in blogging, mainly because life has been all about work, work and work. I can hear what you are thinking. All work and no play makes Kat a dull girl. And yes, I was on that downward spiral.

Since the last time spoke to you, I have –

  • become a year older;
  • been ill with numerous ear infections, which turned out to be an abscess in my mouth (just finished appointment one of three with the dentist to have a root canal done);
  • missed my third blogaversary. I think this is one of the longest relationships I have had, besides the ones with my tattoos;
  • come back to an updated platform that I don’t like very much;
  • completed a supervisory skills management course;
  • interviewed people for my old position;
  • lost a whole 10 kilograms over a year. I am doing it the healthy way apparently, because this way means that it won’t come back?;
  • joined Tinder;
  • bought headphones at Pep stores for R 20;
  • given Rugby Man knives and forks as a house warming gift for his new place;
  • realised that family is the BEST support system you will EVER have!;
  • still not watched Fifty Shades of Grey;
  • become obsessed with The Fixer (Scandal for my American readers);
  • not caught up on all the blogs yet;
  • deleted Tinder;
  • deleted Twitter;
  • taken my niece on a date with me;
  • eaten the best ice cream I have EVER tasted;
  • realised that I really would like to have a kid of my own one day;
  • had a fit in a cellular shop and went to their rival and was assisted IMMEDIATELY;
  • received the best Christmas presents from my Mom, one of the PostSecret books and the Eiffel Tower (not the actual one silly);
  • a new nickname from Noodle, she calls me Umma (long story) or Kiki;
  • had my nails done by Mrs Biker Man (who was going to start her own business); and
  • listened to my sixth sense about a number of things.

So, this is not all of it, but let’s take it one step at a time?

Happy Thursday everyone,

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What are aunts for??

This morning I had to go to Biker Man’s house, because the cubbyhole handle in my car broke. Apparently, my Mom is the Hulk cause when she tried to open the cubbyhole, the lever just broke off… It was so funny.

Anyways, when we got there the girlies were still in their pyjamas and Wifey was just too glad to see us, cause that meant that we would get the girls dressed and ready before here dad and step mom arrived to visit. It is amazing that with my Mom there, Noodle sits still to have her hair done and get dressed. Wifey says that when she does it Noodle goes running around like it is a big joke.  Btw,  Deb who blogs here on WordPress has written an article for the Woolworths website… go check it out… It is really informative and yes, PJs rule in our house too!. 😉

Wifey had another “episode” this week. Apparently she says she didn’t know she had it. See, she is working from home now and well, she says she sat down on the bench in the lounge and woke up later the afternoon, she says she thought she fell asleep and didn’t think anything about it. Then on Thursday after dropping the girls off at school, she felt weird, like that day at the mall and stopped at her GP who confirmed that she was suffering the after effects of the episode. She mentioned that it might be gynaecological because it happens while she is having her period, TMI? So, now that is another avenue they are looking into.

So, we caught up on life while having coffee and rusks… and guess what… I decided to teach Noodle how to dunk the rusk in the coffee and then eat it… hahahaha. We had so much fun doing that, even though I had coffee all over my jeans from where Noodle messed. Wifey reminded me that I did the same with Cutie Pie too… and after that no cup of coffee was safe.

My reply to the situation was “well that’s what aunts are supposed to do”. We teach kids stuff. Useful stuff.  Like the pic says:

Crazy aunt

I don’t think that Wifey realises that she can do the same with my kids one day when I have them. Btw, speaking about having kids of my own… I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I think I have some decisions to make for the future.

Oh and after this whole post, the good news is that Biker Man did get into the cubbyhole and I got my car’s manual and CD’s out. 🙂 What would I do without my big brother? Hahaha

Anyways, have a good weekend. 🙂

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Life, love and everything else (part 1)

You know, I have been writing this post in my head for a while now… and well… I need to get this out of my head, so I have decided to put my thoughts on paper… virtual paper, but you get the idea.

Firstly, I must apologise, this is a bit of a long post, hence why I have split it into a few separate posts.

I said previously that 2014 would be my year, and yes, to an extent it has been a great one so far. With hard work and dedication, I was promoted at work, family life has been good, I have lost a whole eight (8) kilograms and still losing as we speak, due to the fact that I haven’t reached my goal weight… yet.

I have thrived and yet, something is missing…

Yes, I know, the past few years, life has been all about work, studying, life around me and well, I haven’t given much thought to relationships, but now I am…. and let me just add in that sentence…. that this is NOT my biological clock ticking or making me aware of things. It is something I have picked up on, most probably because all the other areas in my life are settling down.

I have come to realise that at the age of 30, I would like to have someone around to enjoy life with, a partner of sorts, and I have gone out seeking a possible beau…

Untitled

*with possible kissing or more? *wink wink*

And so it is…

10

Another long weekend has come to an end… Awww… but seriously, life has been very busy.

Firstly, I didn’t realise that last week was only a four-day week last week… imagine my surprise. However, some good things happened. Firstly, as you know, Cutie Pie turned four. We had her party on Friday at Spur and I must admit that it was a great success. From the photos, everyone had a blast, kids and adults included. 😉

Oh, and guess what? I had a date on Friday night…. I haven’t been so nervous in a long time. Seriously, those butterflies in my tummy made it all worthwhile. I think it went off well. He is a Nice Guy and we were some of the last people to leave the restaurant and we got on well. I guess time will tell. 😉

Btw, I am very proud of myself… I had three bets going with Nice Guy regarding sports games played yesterday. I said Chelsea (Sorry Asian), the Lions and the Bulls would win their respective games, and guess who got three out of three right. Muahahahaha. 😉 I said it was beginner’s luck, however, he doesn’t think so.

Anyways, news on the family front is that Biker Man has a gf! Eeeek! I am so, so happy for him. She is a cop and she doesn’t take kak from anyone. She is really nice and well, she is a friend on FB now. The rest of the family has accepted her with open arms and well and from the PDAs they are both happy. 😀

I will try to make some more appearances, in the following weeks, I have been reading your blogs and from the looks of things, everyone is busy. 🙂 Maybe it is a good thing because it keeps us out of trouble?

Have a brilliant evening further.
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Spring has sprung?

Brrrr… it is chilly isn’t it?

The birthday party y went off really well on Saturday. Harmony, you won’t believe how charming those boys/men (aged from 21 to 26) were! I had so many hugs and compliments. As for your instructions… I looked twice as hard and got some pics too. 😉

As for my nephew, I think he enjoyed the celebrations. He loved his cake and his gift, his helium balloon that ended up going to heaven thank to Ms Cutie Pie. He (my nephew) told my Mom and I that we always seem to buy him the right gifts. The gifts he always wants.

It was so nice that the family were all together with such an occasion, everything just seemed right with the world. Nice memories were made and I must admit, that I got a little misty eyed when Rugby Man decided to make a speech and play a slide show of The Blonde Ones life. I think it was then that I realised that I have been watching two miracles (namely, the Model and the Blonde one) grow up in front of me. They are polite, well-mannered, they love their family and folks and they care about their friends. I really cannot see any bad in them, but maybe I am biased. Rugby Man and Curly have done a good job at raising those two boys.  They can be very proud of themselves about that and I know my Mom is very proud of her family. You can see it in her eyes when she talks about each person and I think that’s what life should be all about. 🙂

So, yesterday was the first day of spring here in the southern hemisphere, however, it did not feel like spring. There was nip in the air and everyone was cold. However, Spring has officially sprung and it is the second of September already.  I know that I have said this before but time sure is flying this year. Anyway, this is a little late but rather late than never…

Spring

I gave in… eventually

So remember this post? Where I was saying how ill I was feeling?

Well, I finally went to the Doctor on Wednesday, after leaving work early on Tuesday. Turns out, I have/had a severe upper airway tract infection. Hence why I was feeling so bad. The doctor gave me antibiotics and booked me off for two days. I am back at work today and I must admit, I am feeling much, much better. 🙂 Amazing what rest and meds can do for you! I can breathe again and I almost had a full night’s rest last night and only had to get up twice for my coughing sessions.

I got the “I told you so” speech from my Mom though mainly because the last bout of medicine cost R 500 and that was for the generics. All in all, I have spent about R 1000 on meds this month. *cringe* So I fully understand why I got the speech from her.

My nephews party is the weekend. My Mom will be baking his birthday cake tonight and we will do the decorations tomorrow. My brother (Rugby Man) has made a slide show for him. I must admit, I am really looking forward to that. We have his pressie, it is a stainless steel bracelet for his arm and I got him a teddy bear… one that he has to carry with him all night tomorrow night. 🙂  I am the photographer so with my new baby around, there will be lots of pics. Oh and Rugby man said that both my nephews want to make speeches and he hopes he doesn’t cry. Awwww…

Anyways…

happy-friday