Life, love and everything else (part 4)

Click here for part 1part 2 and part 3.

So the whole experience wasn’t all doom and gloom. I met a few people and had good chats. There are some genuinely nice guys out there, but, they have been hurt, and from what I can gather, they are weary of putting themselves out there.

I don’t think anyone ever said that that finding a potential match in life would be easy. I mean, times have changed. This isn’t the time where you meet someone and bang, everything falls into place. You meet your soul mate and birds are singing, stars are shining and the whole world is happy. Let’s face it, I was not looking for the love of my life (although if lightning did strike, I won’t say no) but, all I want is someone who I like that I can call up and say hey, wanna go to the movies? Someone who I can just be with, someone who I like and who likes me… Yes, I know life and relationships are a little more complicated than that… But I think this chick (me) took a major step out of her comfort zone to try this and I am very proud of myself.

I remember driving to the two dates I had, thinking: “What are you doing Kathleen?” Then there were random thoughts like: “Maybe I should turn around and go home?” However, I didn’t go home. I went on to meet with the two guys. I did it. Btw, there was a meeting planned with a third guy (who I haven’t mentioned), but life happened (as it does) and a rain check was given. Let’s wait and see if that ever gets cashed in… I won’t be holding my breath though 😉 .

Anyways, after all this, I have removed my profile from both dating sites, I have packed the unused sim card away. I think I will try the dating site thing again, maybe when Spring comes around? Who knows? That’s the beautiful thing about life, it is a mystery. Sounds a little cliché hey?

In my voyage into this whole dating site thing, I have learnt a few things about myself and about what I want or would like:

  1. I have never been in love. I know that that is shocking to hear, especially because of my age, but if the potential beau wants to change that, he is welcome to. I am open to it.
  2. I know that I am not too open about giving information away about myself. I can get you to talk, that’s easy, but getting myself to open up and talk is a whole other story. I have to work on that.
  3. I kinda suck at flirting… although I think that would come to an end when I actually meet a person. Also, I am not good with flirting over a phone, unfortunately, but maybe I should practise a little more?
  4. I know that I will not be finding a beau without baggage. I know that he will either  have an ex-wife, a kid, or he would of had a very bad breakup. At my age, it is to be expected. I was studying while other people were getting married and settling down. I am cool with it, I get that the potential will have a history, but all I ask is that he does not mention his ex in EVERY conversation. It makes a girl think that he is not quite over the ex and well… maybe he should be taking her to dinner instead?
  5. I need to find a beau who will not be intimidated by me… yes, I am successful, but, why should that be a problem? I am me… I am a nice person.
  6. I am not an airhead and I actually like having proper conversations. I can converse on all topics, from sports to cars to actors to sex to websites to photography to magazines and all the happenings in the world around us. If the potential beau wants an airhead, then maybe he should be dating a 20-year-old who is most likely only after his money.
  7. Oh and I am not dating you for your money.
  8. I am NOT a damsel in distress, I am a bit of a tom boy, so get used to it.  I can sort out a flat tyre, I can fix a kitchen light, hell, I can even tell you where the fuse box is in my car is, but just because I know these things does not make me any less of a lady.
  9. I do not do clingy people. I like my space. If I don’t answer my phone or reply to a message straight away, don’t panic.
  10. I do not own whips or chains… well, not yet anyways. 😉
  11. I need to find a beau who lives nearby. Namibia and Bloemfontein are a bit too far away, and with the price of petrol going up and e-tolls  (if you pay them, which is a debatable subject… ) it can get expensive
  12. Yes, I do go to church, but I won’t shove my faith down your throat. I am not that kind of person.
  13. If you have lost interest in me. TELL ME. I don’t appreciate being made a fool of. If you are interested in me, then for goodness sake… TELL ME! I can’t do this  whole “does he like me?” dialogue in my head.
  14. I swear and I curse and I lose my temper sometimes. I try not to, but sometimes it happens. The potential beau should not be offended any of that happens.
  15. I have been around adults all my life. In nursery school, my teacher wrote on my report card “Kathleen likes adult company”. I was four when she wrote that and yes, I always seek out conversation from people older than myself. So, to me, age is just a number… if the potential beau is a little more mature, it is cool… however, no beau’s over 50 thanks. 😉

Anyways…there is my list… I am sending it out into the universe. If I can find a guy who accepts the above, then great. If not, then maybe my brothers are right? Maybe I am just too fussy? Or as they say “full of shit”? Although… that is a rhetorical question and it does not need to be answered. 😉

Okay, so, this is a last thought… I don’t particularly believe in horoscopes, I do find it all very interesting with the whole astronomy thing and personalities, but I decided to browse my horoscope on Wednesday and this is what it said:

You may be wearing rose-coloured glasses when it comes to the way a certain person has been treating you. Maybe you don’t see the lack of respect or kindness because you don’t want to. Or maybe you are choosing to seek out possible reasons for this behaviour, and you’re making excuses for that person. But what you really need to do is remind yourself how valuable and special you are, and that you don’t deserve to be treated in such a way. Stand up for yourself Scorpio.

With life happening around me, this makes a lot of sense. and I agree… I am valuable and special and I think I deserve the best that’s out there for me. 🙂




15 thoughts on “Life, love and everything else (part 4)

  1. Catching up here Kat ..
    I have friends who have had disaster’s on dating sites and I have friends who met online and were married within 7 months … so it can work. The thing that came out of their experience was not to have expectations – enter into the fray with the idea of widening one’s social circle and if all else fails, you have more friends….
    Sounds like you did that and good for you…
    Don’t give up on finding the other half – Missy Universe with her pervrse sense of humour waited until I was well and truly entrenched in my life and then sent me my other half – who lived … 1800km’s away!! – I can hear her chuckling still.
    5 and a half years and a serious relocation later we still going strong.
    We did not however, meet via a dating site, we both blogged on the old site and our meeting was a result of a lost bet 🙂
    (there are times however, i miss my bespoke kitchen with it’s glass top hob and under counter oven just a wee bit – Missy U needs to reward me with a lotto win sometime soon ;))
    Guess what my ramble is all about is – don’t change who YOU are for anyone and never settle – what will be will be and sometimes, just sometimes, that chick we call Universe drops something unexpected in our laps .. albeit generally with a twist 😉

    • Hey you!!!! Long time no chat. 🙂 And thanks, I did try to go into this with an open mind… and hey, I have learnt a lot and at the end of the day, if that’s all I get out of it, I can say I tried. 🙂 I will never change who I am, I promise. 🙂

      Btw, loved your comment about Missy Universe. I am glad to hear you are so happy, but I do hope you get that lotto money for your kitchen soon. 😉

      I always think it is amazing what life throws a us when we aren’t looking form anything. Be good and take care of you.

  2. Well done, Kat. It will probably be easier next time around. It’s good that you’re neither desperate for a partner, nor addicted to the date line thing. A very healthy attitude. 🙂 Have a great weekend

    • Thanks so much for your comment AD and I have to agree, I am not desperate. I have tried to keep an open mind about it and will continue doing so. 🙂

  3. Maybe you should try some old fashioned dating…ask friends if they know someone who might suit you or co-workers….women love to fix up friends….you never know and you might just make some new friends too…I fixed up a friend 30 years ago.and they are still happily married with 3 grownup kids…

    • I think I may have to do that Annie. I would ask my brother’s to help, but they are of the view that no one is good enough. But, I will keep you all posted of any future developments. 🙂

  4. The Universe owes you. It is really sad that you can’t say you have been head-over-heels in love – even the here-today-gone-tomorrow puppy love – where every movement and utterance of the subject had you hypnotised and enthralled, and every touch thrilled.
    Makes me think how lucky I am. After a few quite intense infatuations which didn’t last, 54 years and a couple of days ago I met someone I felt that way about, only more so. You could say that one kinda lasted. We’re still happily married..

    • Well, Col, what you described is what I am hoping to find… “where every movement and utterance of the subject had you hypnotised and enthralled, and every touch thrilled”

      Btw, you are lucky you found your one… just goes to show, people can be together for lifetimes. 🙂

  5. Pingback: Tuesday tune: Waiting for Superman | Kat and her Blog

  6. I just read your posts about the dating thing…I was there some years ago too. I did not sign up for online dating but I did meet hubby online. It is 8 years down the line for us and one toddler. I was not looking for love, he kinda just came out of nowhere.
    We met three times and then I relocated 700km and moved in with him. We did not wait for anything, we just knew we had found each other.
    You will find your one whether or not you actively look.

    • Thanks for reading my posts and the comment…. and wow at your story. If you know you know.

      I will definitely keep your last sentence in mind. 🙂

  7. Pingback: Oh boy… I am always in the friend-zone! | Kat and her Blog

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